Babymoon. It’s a thing. A brief respite from the chaos of work, hospital visits, nursery preparation, and the myriad other responsibilities of expecting parents. I’d been advised by the internet friends to take a babymoon and enjoy one last hurrah before our life is forever changed come March.

It turns out B and I had a trip planned before we were expecting. Our family had long ago planned to visit the Hawaiian island of Kauai to celebrate my parents’ 35th wedding anniversary. Fortunately, the timing of this trip aligned with B’s second trimester, the best time to travel when pregnant. So we adapted our Hawaiian vacation into a babymoon of sorts, which included my mom, dad, sister, and brother-in-law. Yes, traveling with family. More on that later.

This isn’t a travel blog, so I’ll spare you the fine details of our trip and just give you the highlights. I’ll also offer some modest babymoon advice based on our experience.

The Destination

Kauai is the most beautiful of Hawaiian islands, and in my experience, the least touristy. Unlike the other main islands, there are no skyscrapers (island ordinance) and the majority of the inner island remains in its natural state, seen only by helicopter or adventurous hikes. There’s one main road that travels along the perimeter of the island, which makes driving incredibly simple. The beach is on one side, and endlessly green landscapes on the other.

Traveling with Family

This doesn’t work for all families. But ours actually gets along quite well. We shared a rented house on a golf course in Princeville, which included three master bedrooms (saving innumerable potential conflicts). Spending a week together gave us a chance to bond like we hadn’t done in many years. It also afforded us the opportunity to talk about raising children and reflect on our own childhood. I’m at an age now that I can see my mom and dad as not only my parents, but people as well. Not every couple reaches their 35th anniversary, and their marriage has become a model in a world of increasing separation rates. It was interesting to hear them talk about their thoughts and worries when raising us. As an expecting father, the information was of course very relevant and insightful.

Relaxing

It’s easy to overbook your vacation with to-do lists, so it was important for us to remember it was okay to just relax. Fortunately, there were great local restaurants and a few world famous beaches at our disposal to do just that.

Helicopter Tour

My dad and I took an hour ride around the island. Definitely a must-do. Unfortunately, they don’t allow pregnant women to ride.

Shave Ice

Luau

Our last night on the island was capped with a traditional Hawaiian luau. Touristy, yes. But definitely entertaining. And the food was amazing (kalua pork, anyone?).

SOME MODEST ADVICE

There are plenty of resources on the web about how to plan for your babymoon. But after traveling with a pregnant woman, I can offer a few pointers that might make your trip a little easier.

Give her the isle. She’s gonna need to use the bathroom. A lot.

Don’t do too much. You’ve probably noticed she’s more tired than usual these days. Remember babymoon’s are about relaxing more than they are anything else. Don’t over do it. Enjoy each other’s company. Kick your feet up and talk baby names.

Consider pregnancy restrictions. Many activities don’t allow pregnant women to partake. In Kauai we ran into this a lot. Cruises, helicopter rides, and even the airport massage chair restrict pregnant women. Also, remember pregnant women have dietary restrictions as well. Account for that and scope out some pregnant-OK activities and restaurants in advance.

Keep your drinking to a minimum. It’s a vacation so you’ll be tempted to put a few back. But remember she can’t partake. Don’t be a dick. Be considerate.

Feed her. Trust me, she’s hungry. Bring snacks for in-between meals and be sure to have plenty of water.

Buy her something. Pregnancy is physically and emotionally taxing. Take the opportunity to buy her a nice remembrance item. Surprise her with something or let her pick something out. It’ll pay dividends (maybe).

Of course, it’s not possible for all of us to take a babymoon. But if you can, do. Even if for a day or two. We were lucky enough to have a rather extravagant babymoon, but being in B’s company away from our normal routine was absolutely the highlight.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my father and my godmother, Shirley, for making this trip possible.